The Couch Conclave - Part I - I need my therapist

The rescue team has been assigned to solve the case of the missing aeroplane, the monkey puzzle sits incomplete, my tiny tot in downward dog asks what the ladybird heard next, the train whistles and comes to a halt, the obstacle course is scattered, the launchpad has to be cleared, ‘Curly’, the pig needs a bath, ‘Cloudy’, the calf craves milk, ‘Gajapati’, the elephant, ‘Chiclet’, the horse, the transporter, road roller, are all on stand by, the digger at the front gate looks expectedly at an empty balcony, the football is in the hiding, the puppet show has been delayed indefinitely, the tent houses a sleepy dragon, the drums sit tight silently, and ‘do re me fa’, are on a search mission, looking for their melody… And my little toddler is holding his horses in anticipation of what is the next activity he will do with mumma.

Yes, here I am playing, reciting rhymes, telling stories, jumping like a frog, solving puzzles, crossing the shark infested river, dancing to the tunes of, “Don’t worry Be happy...”

But am I really here?

Honestly, No. Not today. There is a tug of war between my physical presence and mental absence. One rope pulling me towards being present to the play and another pushing me away. Multitude of tasks, demand my attention. My mind dissected, one part restless, hopping like a rabbit from one to the other thought, another guilty of not being mindful, and yet another anxious and overwhelmed. Can I really pull all this off to the best of my ability? Maybe I should drop a few things? Will I do justice to the opportunities, Am I worthy enough, I am bound to make a fool of my self, Have I lost it? Is there enough time at hand? The heart racing faster and faster as the coal of insecurities and expectations is being shoved in the fire engine of the mind. My baby clings, the door bell rings, the whats app pings, the washing machine trrings, so many things and my head swings! STOP, I shout within, What am I doing? I need a deep breath, actually I need many, I need to pause, I need to step back and see things clearly, I need my therapist!!!

And so I dial my helpline, my internal therapist, and set an appointment…Will I get back the reigns to my monkey mind that roams hither thither? Will my awareness be anchored back to a calmer, centred and mindful core? I am curious to find out…aren’t you?

Let's wait and see...

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